Yes it’s that time again for another action packed edition of Success Insights, where we share latest insights, news and events with our community.

Click here to access Success Insight August 2011 edition

In this edition we look at:

• Recognising behaviour types
• Dealing with parental conflict

Click here to access Success Insight August 2011 edition

Enjoy!

Kind regards

Mark

About Mark Taylor….

Success Insight – August Edition

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Description

This is when you are able to express your true feelings, both negative and positive, without apology.  You say what you mean in an honest, direct and appropriate / constructive style and in a manner that does not violate someone’s rights.  You have the confidence to say what you want and repeat it until heard 

Short-term Outcomes

• Some conflict between you and others especially if they are not comfortable or find assertiveness threatening
• Feelings of doubt about your right to assert yourself
• Feelings of self respect and confidence
• Honesty in relationship with others

Potentially longer term outcomes

• Relationships based on honesty and mutual respect
• Personal relationships terminated when not based on honesty and mutual respect
• Feelings of confidence, authenticity and independence

About Mark Taylor….

Assertive / Constructive  Behaviour

Technorati Tags: assertive behaviour, communication skills, constructive behaviour

2.    CELEBRATE.

The ‘Nay sayers” are already mouthing 

“celebrate what – I’m not yet the best speaker I could be”. 

And I say, “we are all a work in progress, we all are best to take feedback & have the trust, courage and confidence to learn”.

Celebrate your energy to get out there and be well prepared and with good intention, open your mouth to deliver the material you know that you know. Celebrate that your mistakes allow you to have something tangible to take to mentoring and develop the specific skill set to achieve the result you want. Celebrate that your audience respects your position in delivering to them.

Celebrate that you are a wonderful learner and it means that you choose to see yourself as successful and acquire the coaching or skill set to do just that – everything is possible.

Tis the season to be jolly, to speak fully and to have a sense of joy, humour and achievement.

And to relax and know that there is always another day to speak…..

 About Tric Gibson

Tric is nationally recognized as an inspiring, passionate & compelling public and motivational speaker, who also knows exactly how to teach those skills.With 30 years professional experience, she is a recognized authority in communication training.  http://www.tricgibson.com/

Public Speaking Tips

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Description

This is when you manipulate the situation to get what you want.  Techniques would include saying yes and doing otherwise, spinning situations, pretending and making excuses.

Short-term Outcomes

• Feelings of power and success
• Desired outcome achieved
• Feeling of dishonesty and sneakiness
• Chance of being misunderstood

Potentially longer term outcomes

• Relationships built on deceit and manipulation
• Web of dishonesty to cover past deceits
• Reputation of insincerity and deception
• Feelings of helplessness and frustration

How the snake handles other styles

The snake will easily manipulate the mouse.  The snake will be able to trick the bull. The snake will be threatened by the King who can easily expose him.

About Mark Taylor….

Indirect or Passive – Aggressive Behaviour

Technorati Tags: communication skills, passive aggressive behaviour

One of the areas I am becoming more and more aware of is the dangerous behavioural style called “passive aggressive behaviour” and it is more prevalent than we might initially think, both within others around us and ourselves.

We are all aware of type A or aggressive behaviour and this of course can be a challenging behaviour, but its main positive is that it is normally very transparent, direct and obvious.

Passive-aggressive behaviour is an altogether more subtle behaviour which is its secret weapon.  SO what is it?

I define it as behaviour which is manipulative and cowardly in behaviour.  People will say one thing, but mean another. Say different things to you than to other people and in reality very aggressive and destructive in their behaviour, but through passive means, hence the term passive-aggressive.

For me it is linked to a lack of truth, authenticity, and personal courage and causes alot of damage in society.

So, take a look at your own behaviour.  Do you stay in your truth or do you play games to get your way.  Does a lack of courage prevent you from saying what you really feel? 

When you come across it from someone else, you need to pull them up and make sure they know that stand for constructive, open behaviour.

Good luck!!

About Mark Taylor….

Passive, Aggressive Behaviour

Technorati Tags: aggressive behaviour, passive

2.    COMMITMENT.

It is about engaging the audience or collaborating.

It busts the myth of a presentation as a one man/woman show.

Ask questions “ to get a better answer, ask a better question’

This skill encompasses an emotional confidence in appropriate risk taking as well as the specific skill in asking and answering questions (a possible later article topic and very important and fascinating subject).

Some skills which may require specific development ( possible canvassed beyond this article) could include :

• Building  rapport, verbal and body language
• Meeting objections
• Creating stories, metaphors and weaving that into your presentation for great effect and enhanced learning
• Organization of your presentation material into every learner’s style
• Active listening
• Hypnotic languaging
• Questions that empower and engage
• Emotional language for impact
• Presenter’s stance and postures
• Influence Principles
• Closing Sales Strategies
• Conclusions and communication that opens to next opportunities & much more….

This means prepare and plan, commit the time and resources to get your act together responsibly with your subject matter, materials, research for audience needs and presentation resources. Honour your audience with the best preparation possible.

Now, having said that, let me clarify, does this mean that I want you to feed into any lurking perfection compulsions that cause endless angst despite a mountain of work – NO!

Let’s look at & consider the old saying :

“Lack of preparation on my part does not constitute an emergency on your part”

And I encourage you to have BALANCE.

Prepare appropriately & then Relax.

 About Tric Gibson

Tric is nationally recognized as an inspiring, passionate & compelling public and motivational speaker, who also knows exactly how to teach those skills.With 30 years professional experience, she is a recognized authority in communication training.  http://www.tricgibson.com/

Public Speaking Tips

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Description

Aggravating, over-reacting, bullying or dominating type behaviour can be categorised as aggressive behaviour.

Short-term Outcomes

• Feelings of power and satisfaction
• Relief at expressing pent up feelings
• Feelings of shame, disappointment and embarrassment

Potentially longer term outcomes

• Destruction of relationships
• Avoidance by other people
• Lack of inner peace

How the bull handles other styles

The bull will dominate the mouse.  The bull will struggle with the snake and will get angrier. The bull will be brought down to earth by the King

About Mark Taylor….

Aggressive Behaviour

Technorati Tags: aggressive behaviour, communication skills

2.    TRUST.

Not them – YOU!

Trust that you have the best intentions towards your audience and yourself and that you intend to deliver great value & that you really do know your stuff.

A fear that I have heard hundreds of times from private and corporate clients whom I have mentored to speaking success is

“What if I don’t know the answer?”

Well, the truth is that no one knows every answer & it is insane to imagine otherwise.

Be very well prepared and responsible and then learn ways to engage the audience in the collaborative consideration of something that you and others may wish to research.

Having the confidence to say “What a great question, how will we look at that together”, engages the audience and shows the confidence of a solution oriented presenter.

 About Tric Gibson

Tric is nationally recognized as an inspiring, passionate & compelling public and motivational speaker, who also knows exactly how to teach those skills.With 30 years professional experience, she is a recognized authority in communication training.  http://www.tricgibson.com/

Public Speaking Tips

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Description

This is when you let other people or situations decide what you do, and not letting them know how you will really feel about

Short-term Outcomes

• Friction and conflict is avoided
• Can feel generous and marty like for sacrificing yourself for the greater good
• Feelings of frustration and helplessness
• Resentment of yourself and others

 Potentially longer term outcomes

• Build up of resentment creating physical symptoms (e.g stress, headaches, chronic pain) – see my article on Dr Sarno)
• Build up of resentment creating mental symptoms (depression, chronic fatigue) – see my article on Dr Sarno)
• Inability to make decisions or express emotions
• Reputation of being unpredicatable (always bending to others so stance on things)
• Reputation of being spineless
• Reputation of being easy to get along with you ( of course you avoid confrontation at all costs)

About Mark Taylor….

Passive Behaviour

Technorati Tags: Passive Behaviour

2.    FOCUS.

One of the biggest and most common mistakes that speakers make is the mis- direction of Focus.

I am going to make a big distinction here.

Most people think that they are ‘frazzled’ by speaking due to lack of focus.

 I’m here to bust that myth.

You are a brilliant focuser!

You have just focused in the wrong direction & on something unhelpful – like a limiting thought or fear.

Here’s another big myth – that the audience is thinking about you.

Let me dispel that one right away, every one of your audience members is actually focused on- Him/Her self. That’s right – not you.

So, get in their groove & focus on your audience.

Deliver fabulous value to those who have given you the precious gift of their attention, time & resources, and step up and put your focus on THEM.

Ask questions like:

•  How can I best use their time?
• How can I meet their needs/expectations?
• How can I influence them to feel comfortable and trusting with me as the speaker/presenter?
• What are they interested in learning?
• What if I/they wish to extend the learning, and continue the dialogue out of this session?
• How will I interact with them? Etc

 About Tric Gibson

Tric is nationally recognized as an inspiring, passionate & compelling public and motivational speaker, who also knows exactly how to teach those skills.With 30 years professional experience, she is a recognized authority in communication training.  http://www.tricgibson.com/

Public Speaking Tips

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