My Eureka Moment – I understand the primary cause of unhappiness

For those of you who have been following my blog posts or know me well you will have gathered that I have been on a journey of discovery over the years;  I liken it to the story of Siddhartha, the famous, mythical recounting of the journey of enlightenment of the Buddha, who the story outlines went through a series of experiences and challenges before finally realising the understanding the truth and source of suffering.

As I know on a more practical level, from being employed in factories to solve “unsolvable problems”, getting to root cause of any problem is a challenging exercise but involves a few key approaches:

1)      Make sure you really understand the exact problem. To do this you need to be very specific on the actual problem and be hyper attentive, detailed and observant about the nature of the problem, until you totally understand the nature of the problem.  Not only will this ensure that you have a clear understand the problem you are trying to solve, but you will also be able to prove you have reached root cause as it will be able to explain the fll nature of the problem and alleviate the issues highlighted in point 2

2)      You need to understand that it is human nature to be side tracked by symptoms fixes, conjecture and opinions that side track your ability to find the root cause.  In very complex, multi-dimensional problems, it is very easy to get sidetracked by a relatively small lever.  The optimal way to overcome this is to firstly be able to build a clear and accurate model of all the factors that link to the problem you are trying to solve and have clarity on how they all interact to determine the critical levers, then to be able to measure the actual characteristics of these levers v what they should be doing.  You can then identify the levers and test these against the nature of the problem you are trying to solve.  You will have cracked it if you can accurately explain all of the problem as outlined in 1).  Of course, this is much easier in scientific, measurable problem arena and much harder in more esoteric problems, nevertheless the same principles can apply to guide to root cause.

My deep experience in problem solving, I now realise I have been applying over the last 10 years to a problem that was so complex, it has been an epic marathon that has tested me to the very core….

The problem being: what is the root cause of unhappiness?  I will be sharing with you my journey of discovery, the realisations  I have made along the way, and the root cause that I have discovered.

I believe that if enough people read this journey and then take the action I propose, the entire will go through a magnificent positive social change for individuals, all other  beings and the entire planet we live on.

Enjoy!

About Mark Taylor….

Being Your True Self

Ayahuasca Ceremony

Never being afraid to try new things, I went to an Ayshuasca Ceremony recently.  A friend of mine had participated in one when he was travelling in South America and recommeded it so when the opportunity came along I jumped at it.

You can find at all about it on the web, so I won’t go into detail here.  I found it a profound experience and did some great healing both on a physical and emotional level.

Physically, I can honestly say that I have a body free of pain after a lifetime of pain.  I don’t attribute all of this to the ceremony but it seemed to be the final piece of a large puzzle.

Similarly on an emotional healing level, I went very deep, very very deep and it was a supportive environment that allowed me to do this.

So good stuff.  On another note, I put in my application for Pathways to Manhood for October and looking forward to becoming a facilitator as well as doing my own initiation (the one I never had!)

About Mark Taylor….

Ayahuasca Ceremony

Resolving inner conflict with parents

One of the things I have been building up to , which finally transpired was the open up some old stuff with les parents which I had pushed under the carpet.  I can imagine that many people have some element of conflict or unresolved issues with their upbringing so thought I would share the process I went through.

One of the drivers for me, was the realisation that I was in a cycle where these unresolved issues were creating a pattern of behaviour.  I also was becoming less connected with the parents and a great film “My Father” with Colin Firth really hit home that it would be a shame not to at least try and foster a stronger connection.

Now obviously anything involving family tends to evoke emotional responses and it is not easy to try and talk about things in a constructive manner, so here are some tips to share:

-        Work out your “why?”.  Is is coming from a constructive place or are you just looking to vent repressed emotion. If it is the latter, be careful as you are likely to get a defensive response

-        Remember that parents typically do the best they can do in the frame of reference they have at the time; it is very easy to judge especially as society changes, but try to be empathetic

-        Are you expecting your parents to change?  This is unlikely.  You are the one who is should be looking to change.  Take and own the situation, after all unresolved are simply your emotional connections to historical situations.

-        In following on from the above, I think the over-riding principle to have is one where you are looking for your parents to help you understand, build awareness etc.  It is not about them!!  If you are looking for help, you are parents are likely to be engaged, if you are looking to vent, tell them how bad they were as parents, what they need to do to change, you are coming at it from the wrong angle

All the above was linked to my own positioning, approach and intent which I think is the no 1 thing.  In terms of the mechanics, all I did was set up some quality one on one time in the right environment, mixed it in with some light hearted, shared activities and then asked the following questions as part of a shared experience:

-        Tell me about their life, the highs and lows from their perspective. A real “seek to understand” session

-        Asked them to give me their perception of my life journey, again focusing on my “highs and lows”

-        Finally I gave them my own account of my life journey

The rest naturally flowed from these questions.

About Mark Taylor….

Resolving inner conflict with parents

My personal development plans for 2011

Although I will be keeping myself open this year, I do have some things bumbling on the horizon which I will share with you as they come to fruition.

First up is a 8 day yoga retreat with Glenn Ceresosi a well respected Iyengar Teacher and I know him on a personal level.  Glenn is known for breaking through boundaries and after 5 or so years of yoga, I am looking forward to using this time to go much deeper.

Then in March I am off to Adelaide to do a shamanic, Peruvian Ayahuasca ceremony.  I have been fascinated by this since a friend came back from South America raving about it.  Through some connections I made last year, I have somehow come across a group that have invited me to join them.  Not for everyone, and I am sure some people will have alot of preconceived ideas as it does involve some mind altering concoction.  Nevertheless, I am sure you will be interested in what happens!

I have also committed in October to become a facilitator in the Pathways To Manhood program, something close to my heart.  It will be a 5 day program, which will be the first step to being able to help young men make the transition to manhood and also connect with their father on a more meaningful level.  If you haven’t read “manhood” by Steve Biddild then it comes highly recommended; it explains alot of how society has created the men of today ( and many of their issues!)

Finally, I will going back to Acting, joining “The Actors Pulse”, not that I have any illusions of live performances, more as a environment to continue to build on my ability to be aware of, connect ot and be able to express emotions.

I am sure there will be some other spontaneous stuff that happens and of course, everyday life provides plenty of opportunity to learn and grow!

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About Mark Taylor….

My personal development plans for 2011

Peats Ridge Festival

I recently went to Peats Ridge Festival, which was great opportunity to try some new modalities in the personal development space.  The timetable was extensive with workshops all day long including all types of yoga, meditation, tantra, dance etc.  The “healing haven” program is below for you!  There was all another area for more dance orientated workshops which is below as well as a whole eco living suite of workshops.

So if you want to go on  a workshops frenzy there is a plenty of choice.

I particularly liked the kundalini dancing.  Not being a great natural dancer (especially sober!), loosing myself in the music at 10:30 in morning was liberating.  I seemed to be in a bit of a kundalini mode as I enjoyed the kundalini yoga too, and it was quite different to other forms of yoga I have done before with more of a focus on energy generation.

Laughter yoga didn’t do it for me.  The idea is that you do a number of forced exercises (i.e. pretend to be a lawnmower) until you eventually can laugh spontaneously which is a good for you.

Of course Peats ridge is not just about the workshops, so other aspects I really enjoyed included racing around the water pistol area (always good to act like a 5 year old.  Going mental in the sugar shack int he afternoon, a Xavier rudd type session in the chai tent, random drumming, a fantastic dance with young aboriginal kids; two cute gals singing open mic from a caravan and having the time of their lives  and best of all simply going with the flow, losing track of time and remembering spontaneity and lightness.

About Mark Taylor….

Peats Ridge Festival