Personal Developent News – Success Insight
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Success Insight 2010
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This is only an opinion as I am not a trained psychologist, but my opinion from personal experience and observation is that addictions are a mask for underlying issues and the basic human need articulated by the Buddha as either a “desire” or “aversion”. Addiction gives a temporary respite from whatever place we are in, a promise of moments of increased happiness. So we follow our inherent drivers and replace pain with pleasure.
What is so bad about this? Well, what goes up must go down and overall the net is further down, especially as allowing our addiction to have its way when we, from our intellectual perspective, know it is the wrong action, further diminishes our overall self worth.
Secondly, with repetition, the pleasure derived from our addiction diminishes, so we constantly look for bigger hits to achieve the same result which can escalate very quickly from a minor addiction to a major addiction.
There is a great quote from the movie Candy which sums this concept up well. “ When you can stop you don’t want to, and when you want to you are not able to”
So, the secret here is first of all to have high levels of awareness for when your actions are tipping into addictive in nature, and then look to the real root cause and addresses this… of course follow the Buddha philosophy you would find a place where you were free from aversion and desire and then you would be free and happy no matter happened to you.
In the event that this nirvana is not yet in your grasp, look for the cause of your happiness and try and take some positive action to resolve the issue or change your perspective on the situation, or just go out and do something positive (even if it is the last thing you might feel like doing).
How to cure and addiction
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This is the first of two post around the subject of addicts and addiction. Why this topic; well I am a firm believer that many of us of addicts in some shape and form and the realisation of this is the first step to step changed your own wellbeing and happiness.
So, first of all let us look at what we mean by an addict.
An addict is someone who is unable to exist without their focus of addiction. The addictive behaviour is at its strongest when the person is at their weakest, and so is best spotted when people are down, under pressure etc.
What “ I am not a heroin addict” I hear you say, but let us take a closer look because just because you are not an extreme drug addict may not mean you are not showing all the same symptoms. Let us check out a few other thought starters…
- “ I can’t go without my coffee in the morning”
- “When ever I get down I go straight for the chocolate”
- “ I need that beer or glass of wine when I go out”
- “ I am a self confessed gym junkie”
- “ I zone out to brain-dead television. What is wrong with that?”
- “ I am an adrenalin junkie always searching for my next thrill”
- “ I am what you call a sex addict”
- “ I am always searching for the next adventure”
- “ I am always working”
- “ I am addicted to shopping”
Interesting when you think about it. Of course there are different levels of addiction, but if I am true to myself I would be able to tick over half of these categories, and from an outsiders perspective, I would probably be referred to as “normal”, I could of course be totally wrong on this and am simply delusional.
Another sign of addiction is when you do the exact opposite of what would be the best for you in that precise moment.
In my next post we will look at what lies behind addiction and how addiction can be replaced by freedom
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Are you an addict?
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A good friend of mine inspired me to add a heap more rawness to my blogs; he is a big fan of “the truth” and feels that keeping it real and personal keeps it much more interesting and insightful…
So, from now on – ” no holds barred” warts and all.
The theme of today’s post is the importance of the people you spend time with and the impact of this on your personal wellbeing.
Try this. Think carefully about who you want to and how you want to be. Then look at all the people you spend time with at home, at work, when you are out socialising. How many of them represent the direction you want to head in?
I constantly find this a struggle and because I wear so many hats, if I am honest, it would be less than 5%.
What is the problem with this? Well, you are much less likely to be inspired, interested and motivated. Even gone out and felt a bit flat or empty with the conversation? Go into the work environment and get tired very quickly.
You are misaligned. If you were aligned you would find a real sense of purpose and be happy in the moment you are in, not looking for the next, better moment!
It becomes particularly if you are “trapped” in a 9 to 5 job when you have mentally decided that you are destined for something different; your mind is somewhere else and you have a heart conflict which can be very tough.
What to do about it.
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This is an easy guide to getting started with personal development. These are just some basics, there are many personal development books that can help you as well.
1. Allocating time for you, everyday! This is so basic, yet so important. Many people spend their whole day in giving of themselves to other people or to their job, and they do not find time for themselves. Give yourself 15 minutes to reflect and focus on the most important person in your life, which is YOU.
2. Read or listen to personal development information. Find time to learn about personal development and know the positive and inspirational messages. You can use the 15 minutes allocated for yourself for reading a chapter of a book. If you drive, then put in a tape or CD. This is making use of the available time since you need not spare extra time for listening.
3. Make plans for you! Decide what really needs to be done and do it. Often we want to do something but make excuses if we can’t do it. The reality is that by the time we think up excuses for not doing something, we could have done it. What have you been procrastinating over? The time is now to get it done! Then there will be space in your mind for other thoughts.
4. Never be scared to make a mistake. You can only be successful by making an attempt. Many times throughout history, things that seemed like mistakes actually resulted in great ideas. You do what you want to do and fear of failure should not stop you.
5. Do not procrastinate when making a decision just because you’re afraid it might be incorrect. If you sit on the fence then nothing will be gained. So as long as you make a decision, whether it is a right or wrong one, you are on the right path to making the right one. Be decisive! You may have to practice.
6. In a diary, record your thoughts, ideas, feelings and personal growth. One of the ways of measuring your progress is by keeping a journal. This way you can analyse your past journey. For your future projects, it can come in handy as a great source of material. You can start with writing down thoughts and ideas in a journal if one of your goals is to write a book.
7. Work hard to realize your dreams. If you find things not working out, make sure you are flexible and willing to change the way you carry things out. Things don’t always go the way you want, even when you have a plan in place. Remember that if you are clear about your destination, your route can be changed as long as you end up where you needed to be; it won’t matter that it took a little longer to get there.
8. You have to review your goals daily. You might find it helpful to post photos of your goals so you can visualize them upon waking up and before you go to sleep. We react more positively to images than text.
9. Wear a loose fitting rubber band around your wrist. Every time when you think a negative thought, pull the rubber band so that it snaps you on your wrist. Yes, it definitely will hurt! That is the point! Keep doing this for 30 consecutive days and see what happens – how your behaviour and thoughts change.
10. Your achievements must be celebrated. Reward yourself for your progress – You deserve that much!
This should give you a great guide on how to getting started with personal development, please visit our website or subscribe for recommendations of personal development books.
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