Passive Behaviour

Description

This is when you let other people or situations decide what you do, and not letting them know how you will really feel about

Short-term Outcomes

• Friction and conflict is avoided
• Can feel generous and marty like for sacrificing yourself for the greater good
• Feelings of frustration and helplessness
• Resentment of yourself and others

 Potentially longer term outcomes

• Build up of resentment creating physical symptoms (e.g stress, headaches, chronic pain) – see my article on Dr Sarno)
• Build up of resentment creating mental symptoms (depression, chronic fatigue) – see my article on Dr Sarno)
• Inability to make decisions or express emotions
• Reputation of being unpredicatable (always bending to others so stance on things)
• Reputation of being spineless
• Reputation of being easy to get along with you ( of course you avoid confrontation at all costs)

About Mark Taylor….

Passive Behaviour

Kirtan evening with Dave Stringer

Went to a great evening last night.  A Kirtan evening with Dave Stringer.  I call it raving for yogis.  There is a bit of a Kirtan movement brewing in Sydney at the moment so if you are interested get in touch.

About Dave Stringer

“A volcano of a voice! Stringer transported us to another time and place. His fiery, soulful voice gave the entire room a feeling of a down-home gospel jam and one could not help but sing along.” — LA Yoga Magazine

The Los Angeles Times has declared the experience of chanting with Dave Stringer to be “a departure from ancient kirtan. Stringer’s performance shaped the experience into a far more compelling musical encounter.” Kirtan (pronounced keer-tahn) originated in India, and is currently experiencing a worldwide renaissance as a participatory live music experience. Stringer has been widely profiled as one of the most innovative artists of the new American kirtan movement in publications as diverse as Time, Billboard, Yoga Journal and In Style.

Stringer’s sound marries the transcendent mysticism of traditional Indian instruments with the exuberant, groove-oriented sensibility of American gospel, and he is regarded as one of the most gifted singers in the genre. Stringer, who is also an accomplished composer and multi-instrumentalist, has a special ability to bring people together and inspire them to sing. His work intends to create a modern and participatory theatrical experience out of the ancient traditions of kirtan and yoga, open to a multiplicity of interpretations, and accessible to all.

About Mark Taylor….

Kirtan evening with Dave Stringer

Public Speaking Tips

2.    FOCUS.

One of the biggest and most common mistakes that speakers make is the mis- direction of Focus.

I am going to make a big distinction here.

Most people think that they are ‘frazzled’ by speaking due to lack of focus.

 I’m here to bust that myth.

You are a brilliant focuser!

You have just focused in the wrong direction & on something unhelpful – like a limiting thought or fear.

Here’s another big myth – that the audience is thinking about you.

Let me dispel that one right away, every one of your audience members is actually focused on- Him/Her self. That’s right – not you.

So, get in their groove & focus on your audience.

Deliver fabulous value to those who have given you the precious gift of their attention, time & resources, and step up and put your focus on THEM.

Ask questions like:

•  How can I best use their time?
• How can I meet their needs/expectations?
• How can I influence them to feel comfortable and trusting with me as the speaker/presenter?
• What are they interested in learning?
• What if I/they wish to extend the learning, and continue the dialogue out of this session?
• How will I interact with them? Etc

 About Tric Gibson

Tric is nationally recognized as an inspiring, passionate & compelling public and motivational speaker, who also knows exactly how to teach those skills.With 30 years professional experience, she is a recognized authority in communication training.  http://www.tricgibson.com/

Public Speaking Tips

Resolving inner conflict with parents

One of the things I have been building up to , which finally transpired was the open up some old stuff with les parents which I had pushed under the carpet.  I can imagine that many people have some element of conflict or unresolved issues with their upbringing so thought I would share the process I went through.

One of the drivers for me, was the realisation that I was in a cycle where these unresolved issues were creating a pattern of behaviour.  I also was becoming less connected with the parents and a great film “My Father” with Colin Firth really hit home that it would be a shame not to at least try and foster a stronger connection.

Now obviously anything involving family tends to evoke emotional responses and it is not easy to try and talk about things in a constructive manner, so here are some tips to share:

-        Work out your “why?”.  Is is coming from a constructive place or are you just looking to vent repressed emotion. If it is the latter, be careful as you are likely to get a defensive response

-        Remember that parents typically do the best they can do in the frame of reference they have at the time; it is very easy to judge especially as society changes, but try to be empathetic

-        Are you expecting your parents to change?  This is unlikely.  You are the one who is should be looking to change.  Take and own the situation, after all unresolved are simply your emotional connections to historical situations.

-        In following on from the above, I think the over-riding principle to have is one where you are looking for your parents to help you understand, build awareness etc.  It is not about them!!  If you are looking for help, you are parents are likely to be engaged, if you are looking to vent, tell them how bad they were as parents, what they need to do to change, you are coming at it from the wrong angle

All the above was linked to my own positioning, approach and intent which I think is the no 1 thing.  In terms of the mechanics, all I did was set up some quality one on one time in the right environment, mixed it in with some light hearted, shared activities and then asked the following questions as part of a shared experience:

-        Tell me about their life, the highs and lows from their perspective. A real “seek to understand” session

-        Asked them to give me their perception of my life journey, again focusing on my “highs and lows”

-        Finally I gave them my own account of my life journey

The rest naturally flowed from these questions.

About Mark Taylor….

Resolving inner conflict with parents

Wake Up Sydney – Events for 2011!

Having been to the Kindness Revolution Event last July and had an enjoyable hour coffee catch with the founder, Jono Fisher, I can’t help myself but to dedicate a whole post to promote his events schedule for 2011.

If you are in Sydney and want to begin to wake up to a better way to live, then it is time to get involved!

Let me know if you are attending an event and I may well be there to say hello in person!

All the details from Jono below:

Welcome to Wake Up Sydney! and the Kindness Revolution 2011.

My focus for this year is simplicity. This means less screen time, more swims, walks and time with friends. I have also designed an entirely new event series that explores fresh ways of bringing timeless wisdom and kindness into our daily lives. This means you can kick back and enjoy a vibrant and diverse program of ideas, wisdom and inspiration – from spirituality to science, wellness to business and the arts. It’s all about rediscovering genuine happiness, quality of life and learning how kindness can transform us and our world. The events will be playful and uplifting while encouraging us to live wisely and kindly.  

Here’s the link to our new events page:
 
www.wakeupsydney.com.au/events.aspx

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The Salon: Ideas, Films & Community

Firstly, I am going to experiment with a new event format called The Salon. A rich tradition that dates back to the 18th century. Salons of previous eras regenerated creativity, stimulated new ideas and inspired new movements for positive change. Our Salon will be less elaborate than our more spectacular large concerts – yet equally uplifting. Simply bring your good self and enjoy evenings of casual elegance offering on-stage talk shows, uplifting film screenings, kindness awards for local change agents…plus some fun surprises! You’ll also meet other kind, curious and open minded people over a drink or two.  It will tickle your mind and open your heart – a kind of cultural and inspirational jam session! 

Here are 3 pilot evenings to test the waters.

- Your Life Matters Talk Show with Petrea King: Womens Weekly called her an Angel on Earth; One of our most inspiring women
- Step Up and Lead Talk Show with Jeff McMullen:  Former 60 minutes/4 Corners journalist; now author, activist and adventurer. 
- Film Screening Premier: 2012: A Time For Change – a fresh view on 2012.

At only $25, these events will sell out quick!

To buy your tickets, visit:

http://wakeupsydney.com.au/events.aspx

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Other Inspiring Events…

Conference: A Time For Renewal
23-24 July 2011
If you want to step out of your busy life and explore wellness, life purpose, creativity, kindness and conscious relationships then you will love this conference. A two-day celebration blending uplifting speakers, meditation, films, live music and participant-led activities. We’re inviting our favourite authors, artists, spiritual catalysts and change agents to share tools, stories and resources to renew your inner life. 130 places available.

Book your early bird tickets at:

http://wakeupsydney.com.au/events.aspx

Conscious Business Forum: Doing Well by Doing Good
15-16 October 2011
If you believe business can be a catalyst for creating a kinder and more sustainable world then this is your event. This forum is designed for business owners and entrepreneurs who want to make a difference while also making good profits. Blending personal stories, panels, networking sessions and practical skill sharing. A rare opportunity to gain insights and build connections with an exceptional network of peers. 130 places available.

Book your early bird tickets at:

http://wakeupsydney.com.au/events.aspx

Daylong Retreat: The Power of Kindness (Date TBC)
The Dalai Lama said kindness is my religion. Kindness is about living fully, loving openly and having the courage to trust yourself. It is also about exploring a new version of happiness based on acceptance and generosity rather than endless craving and accumulation. The day will be made up of a combination of mindfulness meditation, discussion and sharing. 

About Mark Taylor….

Wake Up Sydney – Events for 2011!